Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Tuesday Treasures: Ace, the Bat-Pug

Once again, I find my planned installment of Tuesday Treasures taking a backseat to something passed on by a friend.

This is what I get for surrounding myself with people who
A. Know how easily amused I am, and
B. Know exactly what kind of stuff so easily amuses me.

This one comes from my friend Mandy.

There is absolutely nothing I can say to make this any funnier, so I'm just going to let you go at it:

I told you.
Thanks for reading my ranting,


Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Tuesday Treasures: Penguin Peril

I actually had something else planned for today, but then Jaleh from Ex Libris Draconis sent me this, and I realized that I had to use it; I laughed too hard not to.

The whole thing is great, but I really love how the penguin looks over the side of the boat, taunting the killer whales--"Hey, guys, whaddya gonna do now, huh? Got me a boat."

Then he gets his groove on with the ladies--"So, you float around here often? You see me get away from those guys? Pretty cool, huh?"

This was just too funny to not be used today.

Thanks, Jaleh!
Thanks for reading my ranting,


Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Tuesday Treasures: A Few Funnies...

With today being the first day of school (and consequently my first full week back at work), I didn't have time to put together a full post, so I thought I would just leave you a couple of funnies that I first heard on the Dr. Demento radio show years ago.

This first one is by The Frantics, a Canadian comedy troupe. This is the only video I could find that had clear enough audio, and I recommend closing your eyes and listening as though it were on radio. It just seems funnier that way.

Next up is the Smothers Brothers:

And an early "Weird Al" song that you may not have heard:

Tuesday Treasures will make a full comeback next week, but I hope you enjoy the funnies.

Thanks for reading my ranting,


Sunday, August 15, 2010

SF Scrivener Post

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to let you know that I've posted a dvd review of Paranormal Activity over at The SF Scrivener, a blog created by writing colleague Tim Turner.

Please go check it out, and help me support the community effort that Tim has created for us.

As always,

Thanks for reading my ranting,


Friday, August 13, 2010

They're Coming To Get You, Barbaraaaaaa....

If you recognize the title of this post, then you're a fan of a good zombie story.

Friend and fellow writer Lydia Sharp is not only a fan of a good zombie story, she's also the writer of a good zombie story.

A zombie story that has been accepted for publication in an anthology.

To celebrate, Lydia is giving away two signed copies of the anthology, Flesh & Bone, over at her blog (which you should be reading anyway), The Sharp Angle.

I encourage you to help me congratulate her by checking out her rules of entry, and then enter, for Pete's sake!

Not only does she deserve this, it's a chance to win a free book.

And Lydia's story is in it, so it's a good free book.

What are you waiting for?!?


Go now!!!!

Thanks for reading my ranting,


Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Tuesday Treasures: Fright Night

I love horror movies.

Especially vampire movies. If they're well-done, I can't get enough of 'em.

There are many very good ones that I enjoy, but always at the top of my list is Fright Night.

Released in 1985 (good heavens, was I really only fourteen when I saw this?), Fright Night tells the story of Charley Brewster (William Ragsdale), a typical American high school student who discovers that his new neighbor, handsome, sophisticated Jerry Dandridge (Chris Sarandon--Prince Humperdinck and Jack Skellington himself) is a centuries-old vampire.

He attempts to convince his best friend, fellow horror movie buff "Evil" Ed (Stephen Geoffries) and girlfriend Amy (Amanda Bearse, who went on to become Marcy on Married...With Children) that his neighbor is a blood-sucking fiend. Of course, they think he's insane.

To help cure his "delusions", Ed and Amy enlist the help of Charley's idol, Peter Vincent (the always wonderful Roddy McDowell), the aging star of sixties-era, Hammer Horror-like vampire movies. Vincent, who has just been fired from his job as host of a late-night horror-movie tv show called--appropriately enough--Fright Night, readily agrees to be paid to help.

Of course, they eventually become believers, and Dandridge attempts to keep his secret, seeking to make Ed a minion, Amy his bride, and Charley and Peter dead.

Fright Night is a fond tribute to my beloved Hammer Studio horror films of the sixties and the subsequent late-night television shows that kept them alive (both of which I love dearly, and will certainly be future installments of T.T.).

It was followed in 1988 by Fright Night Part 2, which wasn't as good as the first, but still very fun in its own right. The first film is easily found on dvd, but part 2 has been out of print for years, and is very difficult to come by.

In Hollywood's efforts to mine its past successes for inspiration, the inevitable re-make has been announced for an October, 2011 release. While I remain cautiously optimistic about it, it can never replace the original.

After all, they'll never be able to replicate Sarandon's Dandridge, standing at the top of his ornate staircase, mocking the frightened would-be vampire killers:

"Welcome to Fright Night...for real."

Thanks for reading my ranting,


Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Tuesday Treasures: Blake

(Blake is on the right)

Last week, I told you a little bit about Hunter. I was going to wait for Blake's birthday to post about him, but that's not til February, and I couldn't wait that long to tell you about my other most important treasure.

Blake is the polar opposite of his brother; loud where Hunter is quiet, ready to leap where Hunter is cautious.

I read an article several years ago which stated that children who have been born in the past ten years or so will be of the right ages to possibly be part of the first manned missions to Mars.

This demonstrates the differences in my two boys: Hunter would be the one to design the ship, using his intellect to figure out the mechanics of the voyage and how to keep the astronauts alive.

Blake would be the one to strap himself in and blast like a bat out of hell to another world, probably relaying radio messages to his brother the entire way. "I'm almost there, Bubby!"

I celebrate the differences; I can love them both the same while loving them both very differently.

Blake keeps me on my toes. In the past two years, he has:

1. Ridden his bicycle off the edge of a driveway into an empty firewood bin, leading to a week-long hospital stay due to a lacerated kidney. He loved the hospital. The first thing he wanted to do when he got out was "Ride my bike on Poppa's driveway and get hurt again so I can come back here".

2. Maced himself. Okay, it wasn't really Mace, it was one of those generic "Chemical Crime Deterrent Aerosol" keychains that had lain forgotten in the back of a drawer at my mother's house for about fifteen years. I was relieved when I discovered that he had "only maced himself", because I knew how to take care of that, having borne witness to my father and brother macing each other years before, "Just to see what would happen". Yes, it's in the family; Blake comes by it naturally. And a lesson has stuck with him. He cannot say "pepper spray" without a tone of hushed awe and reverence--"Robbers won't break into Mamaw's house because she has...Pepper Spway".

3. Put a nail through his foot because he "wanted to pick the board up with my shoe and twirl it around like a helicopter".

There are many other things that Blake has done over the years that make me want to call the E.R. to give them a heads up whenever he goes outside.

I've mentioned how Hunter is my hero because he helped me save my dad's life.

Blake is my hero, too; he came along a few months after my dad died, and he helped me heal.

I've been accused before of being overly sentimental about both of my children, but I don't see how that's possible. I have been blessed with two extraordinary kids, and I honestly don't know how I would have made it through the trials of the past six years without them. They truly are my most valuable treasures.

Hunter helped save my dad's life.

Blake? He helped save mine.

You're my hero, too, Pal. Just like Big Bubby.

I love you, Blake.

Thanks for reading my ranting,


Monday, August 2, 2010

Another Reason to Never Leave The House Again. Ever.

I've been researching spiders.

Why, you ask?

Easy. Because I hate them, and think the nasty, evil little monsters will make perfect nasty, evil little monsters in a story.

I have been able to overcome (for the most part) my revulsion well enough to read about certain species, I've even been able to see pictures (!) with only a slight shudder, and have only occasionally felt the need to brush off my shoulders to get rid of the spiders which may or may not be there.

Then I came across this:

This is the Chilean rose tarantula.

The picture is quite horrific enough by itself. But it got worse when I read that this spider can blind people by shooting hairs into their eyes.

Perhaps you didn't hear me.

This spider can blind people by SHOOTING HAIRS INTO THEIR EYES!!!!!

I didn't...I didn't know they could do that.

I'm not comfortable with this.

I'm immediately filing this in the "One More Thing To Worry About" folder.

The only thing left to say (besides "Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!!!) is:


Thanks for reading my ranting,