Thursday, January 21, 2010

'Tis the Season...

I noticed something a few weeks ago that's been on my mind a bit lately.

I went to the grocery store to get some last minute party stuff for New Year's Eve, and after fighting through the mass of other procrastinating fools, getting in line, realizing that I'd forgotten something else, getting out of line, going back to the scarily depleted dairy cooler, and finding my way back into a new, longer line I noticed something odd.

In a bright, cheery display, right in front of the check-out lanes, was Easter Candy.

Easter Candy.

On New Year's Eve.

I realize that Easter is a "floating" holiday, but I didn't think it could float to another year.

Usually, Valentine's Day (or as I call it, Black Sunday) candy is on the shelves first, because, let's face it, Valentine's Day comes before Easter.


At times like these, I remember my Weird Uncle Fred, who was never too busy to stop everything and say, "Go get me another beer."

Another thing that Weird Uncle Fred used to say was, "If the stores are gonna keep putting out holiday stuff whenever they want to, we should just have holidays whenever WE want to."

Seeing 2010's Easter candy out before the end of 2009 made me realize that Weird Uncle Fred was on to something.

I will no longer bow down to when corporate America says we should celebrate meaningful days. I am captain of my own destiny, and will celebrate things as I wish.

Christmas will now be held twice a year (I know the kids'll love this one), in July and December.

Speaking of July, the Fourth of July will now be held on March 13 (mostly I just like the idea of blowing stuff up on my birthday).

New Year's will be whenever I get tired of the current year.

National Talk Like A Pirate Day is also my best friend's daughter's birthday (Hi, Jayna!), so we'll just keep that on Sep. 19th, thank you very much.

Arbor Day will be...

Does anyone still do anything for Arbor Day?

Valentine's Day is cancelled.

I'm working on a list of all the other major and minor holidays and their new dates, but I'll have to finish it later. I'm a little busy just now.

It's almost January 25th, and I have to decorate for Halloween.

Thanks for reading my ranting,


Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I Believe Introductions Are In Order

Hello, I'm Brad, and welcome to my brain.

It's a strange, usually amusing, sometimes disturbing, but always interesting place to visit.

That's for you; I have to live here.

I'll be happy to give you a tour if you'd care to show up from time to time. Truthfully, I'm hoping you will; you see, there are a lot of rooms in here that I haven't been into for quite some time, and I'd enjoy the company as I break through some of the doors that have been boarded up.

I'm a writer, so many of these rooms are dedicated to storytelling.

I'm a father, so many more of these rooms belong to my children.

Some of these rooms are just filled up with the stuff that one collects while living his way through the world.

One room still holds a long-ago Saturday morning that I'll tell you about soon.

Not all of the rooms are clean and bright, but I'm by nature a happy person, so most of them are. Or at least they have generous applications of air-freshener to mask anything...unsavory.

I'll ask you to wipe your feet before you come in (help me keep it clean in here, please), not to sit in the comfy-looking chair in front of the window (that's my Dad's chair--he doesn't live here anymore, but he still spends a lot of time here, and I like to keep his chair open), and most importantly, to enjoy yourself.

If you like it here, let me know. I'm always opening up new rooms, and it's good to have pictures of friends to keep things bright and sunny.

I hope you'll come back often, or at least every now and again. I think we'll have a good time together, exploring all of these rooms.

And maybe, just maybe, we'll learn a thing or two along the way.

Thanks for reading my ranting,