Me: Blake, stop running in the house!
Blake: Wheeeeee!!!! Zoom!!! Zoom!!!
Starbuck: WOOF!! (I like you! You are the Small Human who drops food often!)
*CRASH!!!!*
Me: Blake, I said stop running around in the house with the dog!
Blake: *makes puppy dog eyes* But Dad, this is fun, and you like me to have fun because you love me, don't you?
Starbuck: BARK!! WOOF!!! (This is true, Big Human Who Takes Me Outside. It is fun because sometimes he has candy in his pockets that falls out, and then it is mine!)
Me: Yes, Blake, I love you, and I like for you to have fun. But there is not enough room in this house for you to run around like that, especially when a big dog like Starbuck is going to run around with you. I need for you to NOT run around the house.
Blake: But I have to, Dad. It's my destiny.
Me: Ah. Well. Carry on, then.
Blake: WHEEEEE!!!! ZOOOOOOMMMMM!!! ZOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!
Starbuck: WOOF!!! ROWR!!! (CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Me: *Sigh*
******************************
Me: *taking hat off after being out in snow* Ok, boys! Who wants some cereal?
Blake: ME!!! ME!!!!
Me: Hunter, what about you? You want a bowl of cereal?
Hunter: Wow, Dad. You're getting bald.
Me: *happy feelings draining, smile eroding* Hunter, I've been getting bald for a long time now.
Hunter: Yeah, I know. But you're really getting balder. Why are you crying?
Me: I'm not crying, Son. I'm weeping. There's a difference.
Hunter: Oh. Can I have some cereal now?
Starbuck: *running in from other room* WOOF!!!! (Cereal?)
*****************************************************
Thanks for reading my ranting,
Brad
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Update...
I haven't been around much lately.
This time, it's not because I've been too busy (although I have been busy just trying to keep up with life).
I've had a serious case of the "blahs" lately, and to be honest, it's been kinda difficult to drum up the motivation to do much of anything.
I'm usually a pretty happy guy, but sometimes things get to me. It's been one of those times lately.
I'll get better; I always do.
I just wanted to let everyone out there know that I'm not dead.
That I know of.
***************
Thanks for reading my ranting,
Brad
This time, it's not because I've been too busy (although I have been busy just trying to keep up with life).
I've had a serious case of the "blahs" lately, and to be honest, it's been kinda difficult to drum up the motivation to do much of anything.
I'm usually a pretty happy guy, but sometimes things get to me. It's been one of those times lately.
I'll get better; I always do.
I just wanted to let everyone out there know that I'm not dead.
That I know of.
***************
Thanks for reading my ranting,
Brad
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Viruses, Sticks, and Clean Dishes...
My computer came down with a nasty virus the other day.
It was called "SecurityShield", and is designed to shut down programs on your system, telling you that they are infected with Trojan.worm.backdoor.consume.black-hole-of-despair.death or some such or the other, and would you like to register your copy and clean these infections off of your system for the amazingly low price of $79.95, all major credit cards accepted?
This seems to me the cyberspace equivalent of the unscrupulous rat-catcher who carries around a packet of rodent droppings to scatter in your cabinets while you're not looking:
"All done here, but lemme show ya somethin. You got rats. Big 'uns, too, from the looks of it."
"Oh, um, wow. Can you..."
"Ayuh, I can get rid of 'em for ya, but rodents that size? It'll cost.
"Oh, ayuh, it'll cost..."
Thankfully, my tech-savvy brother was able to get rid of it for me without wiping everything and re-installing my operating system (see, Mom, when he was twelve and I told you not to kill him 'cause someday he'd be worth something, I was right), but it still left me with four days of almost no computer time except for the fifteen minutes or so that I could convince my mother to let me use her computer to check my email.
What to do?
Well, it started me thinking about things I used to do before computers and the internet were in almost every American household (yes, kids, I'm older than the dad-blamed intrawebs), so I dusted off my abacus and sat down for some recreational math.
Ha, ha; just kidding there, kids. We all know that math is evil, and on the list of Fun Things To Do When You Can't Get Online ranks somewhere below "ritual suicide", but above "cleaning toilets".
When I was a kid, way back in the pioneer days of the 1970's and 80's, we went outside and played with sticks a lot. Except they weren't really sticks, they were swords, and all you needed to have fun was enough kids to form opposing armies (of course, if one of those kids was lucky enough to have access to a discarded refrigerator box, well, then your adventures were complete).
My own kids were gone for the week with their mother's parents, and all of the kids I used to play with are long since grown up, so I didn't think it would look right to the neighbors if I went out and played with sticks by myself, so I decided to do some of the other things that needed doing.
Like cleaning the kitchen.
I know what you're thinking; that doesn't sound like fun, and quite frankly, it wasn't, but it had been awhile since I had done the deep-core cleaning that kitchens require every so often, the kind that involves a couple of hours of back-breaking labor that results in:
a. A clean kitchen
b. A rewarding sense of satisfaction at a job well done, and
c. One sore back
Well, now the kitchen was clean and I still had no internet access. I couldn't even write, because I couldn't access Word, and I long ago gave up writing longhand.
So I did some laundry. Then I sat down with my pencils and drew. Then I painted with watercolors a bit.
Over the next four days, I did all kinds of things that didn't require a wi-fi connection.
Most of you are probably wondering what the point of this is, so here you go:
I discovered, during my time of non-connectedness, that life was still happening.
There was still a world outside of the internet, and I have a place in it.
Don't get me wrong; I love being out here in cyberspace, sharing my words with you, and I have met some truly wonderful friends that I wouldn't have met otherwise.
The internet can be a good thing, but it can also make you forget that the world that's been around for millions of years is still going on strong out there.
Use the internet. Enjoy the people you meet here.
But don't forget to turn off the computer and do other things. Every now and again, it's good to be off the grid.
A virus taught me that.
My sore back teaches me that if anything like this happens again: whether the kids are here or not, I'm going outside to play with sticks.
*********************************
Thanks for reading my ranting,
Brad
It was called "SecurityShield", and is designed to shut down programs on your system, telling you that they are infected with Trojan.worm.backdoor.consume.black-hole-of-despair.death or some such or the other, and would you like to register your copy and clean these infections off of your system for the amazingly low price of $79.95, all major credit cards accepted?
This seems to me the cyberspace equivalent of the unscrupulous rat-catcher who carries around a packet of rodent droppings to scatter in your cabinets while you're not looking:
"All done here, but lemme show ya somethin. You got rats. Big 'uns, too, from the looks of it."
"Oh, um, wow. Can you..."
"Ayuh, I can get rid of 'em for ya, but rodents that size? It'll cost.
"Oh, ayuh, it'll cost..."
Thankfully, my tech-savvy brother was able to get rid of it for me without wiping everything and re-installing my operating system (see, Mom, when he was twelve and I told you not to kill him 'cause someday he'd be worth something, I was right), but it still left me with four days of almost no computer time except for the fifteen minutes or so that I could convince my mother to let me use her computer to check my email.
What to do?
Well, it started me thinking about things I used to do before computers and the internet were in almost every American household (yes, kids, I'm older than the dad-blamed intrawebs), so I dusted off my abacus and sat down for some recreational math.
Ha, ha; just kidding there, kids. We all know that math is evil, and on the list of Fun Things To Do When You Can't Get Online ranks somewhere below "ritual suicide", but above "cleaning toilets".
When I was a kid, way back in the pioneer days of the 1970's and 80's, we went outside and played with sticks a lot. Except they weren't really sticks, they were swords, and all you needed to have fun was enough kids to form opposing armies (of course, if one of those kids was lucky enough to have access to a discarded refrigerator box, well, then your adventures were complete).
My own kids were gone for the week with their mother's parents, and all of the kids I used to play with are long since grown up, so I didn't think it would look right to the neighbors if I went out and played with sticks by myself, so I decided to do some of the other things that needed doing.
Like cleaning the kitchen.
I know what you're thinking; that doesn't sound like fun, and quite frankly, it wasn't, but it had been awhile since I had done the deep-core cleaning that kitchens require every so often, the kind that involves a couple of hours of back-breaking labor that results in:
a. A clean kitchen
b. A rewarding sense of satisfaction at a job well done, and
c. One sore back
Well, now the kitchen was clean and I still had no internet access. I couldn't even write, because I couldn't access Word, and I long ago gave up writing longhand.
So I did some laundry. Then I sat down with my pencils and drew. Then I painted with watercolors a bit.
Over the next four days, I did all kinds of things that didn't require a wi-fi connection.
Most of you are probably wondering what the point of this is, so here you go:
I discovered, during my time of non-connectedness, that life was still happening.
There was still a world outside of the internet, and I have a place in it.
Don't get me wrong; I love being out here in cyberspace, sharing my words with you, and I have met some truly wonderful friends that I wouldn't have met otherwise.
The internet can be a good thing, but it can also make you forget that the world that's been around for millions of years is still going on strong out there.
Use the internet. Enjoy the people you meet here.
But don't forget to turn off the computer and do other things. Every now and again, it's good to be off the grid.
A virus taught me that.
My sore back teaches me that if anything like this happens again: whether the kids are here or not, I'm going outside to play with sticks.
*********************************
Thanks for reading my ranting,
Brad
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Seasoned Greetings
I haven't posted in a couple of weeks; it's been busy.
I haven't had much time for writing either, but I haven't been completely idle.
I have completed my Christmas card for 2010, and thought I would share it with you, my gentle readers:
The next week or so promises to be hectic (as I'm sure it will be for most of you as well) and I'm not sure if I'll be able to post again before Christmas, so I'd like to take this chance to wish you all a very happy holiday season, no matter the holiday you celebrate.
**************************
Thanks for reading my ranting,
Brad
I haven't had much time for writing either, but I haven't been completely idle.
I have completed my Christmas card for 2010, and thought I would share it with you, my gentle readers:
The next week or so promises to be hectic (as I'm sure it will be for most of you as well) and I'm not sure if I'll be able to post again before Christmas, so I'd like to take this chance to wish you all a very happy holiday season, no matter the holiday you celebrate.
**************************
Thanks for reading my ranting,
Brad
Monday, November 22, 2010
Tuesday Treasures: Dragonslayer
When I was ten years old, I was obsessed with fantasy. What had begun a few years earlier with a second-grade reading of the Chronicles of Narnia quickly led to a two-night reading of The Hobbit (I wouldn't read the rest of Lord of the Rings until a few years later, but by the end of second grade, I was already a denizen of Middle-Earth), which led to the eager reading of the Chronicles of Prydain by Alexander, which led to an equally-greedy consumption of The Tripods Trilogy by John Christopher (all right, strictly speaking, that's a science-fiction trilogy, but it was very influential to my young mind, and so merits a mention here).
I devoured any and every book I could find on mythology, fantasy, and history, leading to my love of swords, sorcery, unicorns, gryffons, trolls, orcs, and of course, dragons.
The point being, I loved this stuff. I couldn't get enough of it (truth be told, I still can't).
Then, in June of 1981, Disney unleashed Dragonslayer.
My ten-year-old mind was blown away.
Dragonslayer tells the story of young Galen Bradwarden, a sorcerer's apprentice who undertakes a mission in his dead master's name.
A mission to exterminate a very old, very nasty dragon named Vermithrax Perjorative, "The Wyrm of Thrace who makes things worse".
Through leagues of travel, betrayal, murder, and love, Bradwarden and his deceased master prove victorious (just in case you haven't seen this movie, I'm not giving anything away).
It's difficult to explain the impact this film had on me. It was the first time I had seen a dragon (outside of animation; thank you, Rankin-Bass, for Smaug) that looked good; the first time I had seen my beloved man-vs-monster fantasy tales brought to such convincing life.
I have watched this film recently, and it is one of the few that truly stands up to my childhood memories of it.
Filmed long before the problems of bringing dragons to life could be solved with cgi, Industrial Light & Magic pioneered a process called go-motion photography to animate its dragon models and puppets, eliminating the herky-jerky crispness of the stop-motion photography that had ruled the industry since the 1930's (don't get me wrong here; I love that unreal, dream-like look of stop-motion, but ILM brought a level of reality to Vermithrax that is as impressive as anything wrought by a computer today).
Dragonslayer is the standard by which I judge dragon movies, and though some have been impressive, so far none have defeated the mighty Vermithrax in my imagination.
If you somehow haven't seen this movie, I encourage you to seek it out. You should be able to find it on DVD for five dollars or under.
If you have seen it, but just haven't seen it for a while, revisit it. You won't be sorry.
It is just as good as you remember.
*************************************
Thanks for reading my ranting,
Brad
I devoured any and every book I could find on mythology, fantasy, and history, leading to my love of swords, sorcery, unicorns, gryffons, trolls, orcs, and of course, dragons.
The point being, I loved this stuff. I couldn't get enough of it (truth be told, I still can't).
Then, in June of 1981, Disney unleashed Dragonslayer.
My ten-year-old mind was blown away.
Dragonslayer tells the story of young Galen Bradwarden, a sorcerer's apprentice who undertakes a mission in his dead master's name.
A mission to exterminate a very old, very nasty dragon named Vermithrax Perjorative, "The Wyrm of Thrace who makes things worse".
 |
| Coolest. Dragon. Ever. |
Through leagues of travel, betrayal, murder, and love, Bradwarden and his deceased master prove victorious (just in case you haven't seen this movie, I'm not giving anything away).
It's difficult to explain the impact this film had on me. It was the first time I had seen a dragon (outside of animation; thank you, Rankin-Bass, for Smaug) that looked good; the first time I had seen my beloved man-vs-monster fantasy tales brought to such convincing life.
I have watched this film recently, and it is one of the few that truly stands up to my childhood memories of it.
Filmed long before the problems of bringing dragons to life could be solved with cgi, Industrial Light & Magic pioneered a process called go-motion photography to animate its dragon models and puppets, eliminating the herky-jerky crispness of the stop-motion photography that had ruled the industry since the 1930's (don't get me wrong here; I love that unreal, dream-like look of stop-motion, but ILM brought a level of reality to Vermithrax that is as impressive as anything wrought by a computer today).
 |
Dragonslayer is the standard by which I judge dragon movies, and though some have been impressive, so far none have defeated the mighty Vermithrax in my imagination.
If you somehow haven't seen this movie, I encourage you to seek it out. You should be able to find it on DVD for five dollars or under.
If you have seen it, but just haven't seen it for a while, revisit it. You won't be sorry.
It is just as good as you remember.
*************************************
Thanks for reading my ranting,
Brad
Saturday, November 20, 2010
As promised, I've given a little lovin' to my poor, neglected Second Star to the Right.
Won't you please pay a visit and read about:
...dum, dum, dum, dummmmm...
Fear.
**************
Thanks for reading my ranting,
Brad
Won't you please pay a visit and read about:
...dum, dum, dum, dummmmm...
Fear.
**************
Thanks for reading my ranting,
Brad
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
A Thousand Pardons...
Okay, maybe just one:
Life has been really getting in the way lately (not in a bad way at all; just extremely busy), and my poor blogs are suffering for it.
Tuesday Treasures will be back next week, and Second Star to the Right will be getting more attention from me, too.
So, I'm sorry about my scheduling issues lately, and will be back on track in time for Thanksgiving!
And now for something completely different:
***********************************************
Thanks for reading my ranting,
Brad
Life has been really getting in the way lately (not in a bad way at all; just extremely busy), and my poor blogs are suffering for it.
Tuesday Treasures will be back next week, and Second Star to the Right will be getting more attention from me, too.
So, I'm sorry about my scheduling issues lately, and will be back on track in time for Thanksgiving!
And now for something completely different:
***********************************************
Thanks for reading my ranting,
Brad
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